Nigerian State Governor Punishes Latecomers

Ayodele Fayose, the controversial governor of Ekiti state in the south-west geo-political zone of Nigeria arrived at the state secretariat today, and promptly locked the gates into the secretariat building just after 8am to keep out those who would arrive late. Of course many of the workers were late as is normal for most Nigerians in the civil service at the federal, state, or local government level. He proceeded to humiliate the latecomers who all knelt down, or even lay prone on the ground in their well ironed and starched Monday morning work attires to plead with the governor not to get the sack and also to promise never to be late again. I can bet good money that a good number of them would have attributed their lateness to the devil!

Morning Water

Mr TB Joshua of the Synagogue Church of All Nations, who should be facing negligent homicide charges, was brought to my attention today by a friend whose mother came from Mr Joshua's church armed with packaged bottles of water which she bought from the church. The water in the bottle of no more than 50ml in capacity has been described thus by Joshua himself:

“By using the Morning Water, you are symbolically setting yourself apart for Jesus Christ’s special attention as you pray in faith. I mean, you are positioned for mercy, favour, healing, deliverance, blessing, prosperity and fruitfulness. It is not the Morning Water that heals the sick but Jesus Christ Himself. There must be faith both in the person praying and in the person being prayed for. Prayer must proceed from and be accompanied with a lively faith. It is this that brings about the healing, not the Morning Water.”

Fast Death

Khulu Reinfirst Manyuka, a 73-year-old Zimbabwean man, starved to death in an attempt to emulate Jesus's 40-day fast as recorded in the bible. He left his family and home on June 15 and went on a solo sojourn, only for his remains to be found about a month later by a stranger who then alerted the police. While he was obviously starving, he most likely succumbed to dehydration since he may have been attempting a dry fast in which no water is also consumed.

Burkini Banter

I was at the swimming pool today when a muslim couple came in with their two children for a swim. I made a silent bet with myself that the woman was not going to swim, not even in a burqini (pictured above). Of course she stood beside the swimming pool, while her husband and kids gallivanted in the pool, having loads of fun. It reminded me of this and as I drove home, I wondered what the obsession was with the female body, especially in islam.

Politicians And Preachers, Six And Half A Dozen

President Buhari has fished out, potentially, his first significant big fish in his anti-corruption war, Sambo Dasuki, who is pictured above, a retired colonel of the Nigerian army. Mr Dasuki, recently relieved of his post as the national security adviser, NSA, has been accused of illegally possessing weapons which were seized during a raid of his house last month, and other charges are expected to follow.

Man Defiles 10-Year-Old, Blames The Devil

A 67 year old Nigerian pastor and grandfather, Felix Adebayo, was arrested in Ubiane community in Edo state, Nigeria, for defiling a 10-year-old girl. He of course blamed his vile act on the devil, something I had previously written about. He admitted that he was married and blamed the devil for leading him to insert his finger into his victim's privates.

God/Heaven Helps Those Who Help Themselves

The title above is a popularly used saying among Nigerians and which, to me, serves as the justification for the countless atrocities committed daily by most of those we entrust with our lives and country. There are many Nigerians who use this saying believing it is a bible verse, and it is not surprising they think this way since they hardly read their bibles. 

Building Bridges

That Nigeria is corrupt is not news; what will be news is when the authorities will grow enough balls to prosecute and convict those who have stolen our common wealth, and this includes their numerous collaborators in the clergy.

#BringBackOurMoney

I am beginning to feel I am riding with the wrong group, since I could be making money dishing out prophecies in my very own church. My last post was about the viral hashtag #BringBackOurGirls, but today, it has become #BringBackOurMoney. While I was writing about the Chibok girls, some Nigerians in Lagos were holding a rally in support of President Buhari's anti-corruption war, and pastor Ayo Oritsejafor, a well known televangelist, was among those recommended for probe and prosecution. He is the current president of the Christian Association of Nigeria, which no longer includes the catholic church since January 2013, due to the way the association was being run under Oristejafor, who had dragged CAN into partisan politics.

#BringBackOurGirls

The abduction of 276 girls from a secondary school dormitory, in Chibok, Nigeria, one night in the middle of April 2014, after generating so much outrage, has virtually died a natural death. It took nearly 3 weeks for Nigeria's then president Jonathan to speak publicly about it, and this should have served as an indication of their fate. Nobody talks about them anymore. Abubakar Shekau, the boko haram terror group leader, in a video message released shortly after the kidnappings, claimed responsibility and boasted about selling them off. There have been rumours that some of them were used as suicide bombers, and those who were married off to some of the insurgents or kept as sex slaves were deemed lucky.

Anglican Abacha

It looks like my knack for the prophetic (no tithes please!) is at it again. Just yesterday, I mentioned General Abacha's romance with the late Ooni of Ife, Okunade Sijuwade, but it has been exclusively reported by saharareporters.com that the draconian Abacha was also a benefactor of the Anglican church of Nigeria. With public funds.

No Miracle For The Dying

It has been revealed that the recently deceased Ooni of Ife, Oba Okunade Sijuwade, had, a few days before his death, desperately sought a miraculous healing from a prophet of the Celestial Church of Christ (CCC). The Ooni was diabetic and all the prophet could do was take him to a river in the dead of night as is usually the practice with the CCC, which was of course totally useless. I would dare to add that the seriously ill traditional ruler would have been promised the healing he sought and parted with a handsome amount of money.

Private Jet Palaver

Creflo Dollar's online begging for funds for a private jet to propagate his prosperity preaching is old news, but my attention was drawn to it by the video below seen as part of this post. It beggars belief that these preachers could be so brazen, greedy and wicked.

Like Robertson, Like Oyakhilome, Like Bullshit

The above video shows Nigeria's very own Benny Hinn copycat, Chris Oyakhilome, dishing out miracles to live viewers of his healing/miracle broadcast. I was reminded of him after reading this, in which Pat Robertson of the 700 Club, who does the same, claimed that god tells him those of his viewers whom he (Robertson) needs to heal. Mr Oyakhilome, from Edo state of Nigeria, has had his share of scandals, the latest being the messy divorce from his wife. It was stunts like this that prompted the Nigerian Broadcasting Corporation, NBC, to ban him and others from performing miracles which were not "provable and believable," ended miracle broadcasts on Nigerian television and created tons of controversy.

Boko Haram Massacres Another Village

Last Thursday, boko haram insugents entered a village and opened fire on unsuspecting villagers. The ensuing pandemonium resulted in the frightened villagers running straight into a river which had overflowed its banks, this being the peak of the rainy season, even in the arid Yobe state where this massacre occurred. Many of them, of course, drowned.

My First Official Proselyte

A reader of my blog wrote me a brief email to thank me for making him realize that he was not going insane. He had been having doubts about his christian beliefs for a few years and had even stopped attending church which necessitated lying to family and friends that he had changed churches.

Blame It On The Devil

"Na devil work" (it is the work of the devil) is the most common excuse used by Nigerians whenever they are caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Every evil deed is blamed on the devil. It is normal for the occupants of a vehicle about to embark on a journey, especially by road, to be led in prayers by at least one of the passengers, or even the driver. It is unfortunate that Nigeria still has appalling figures for fatal accidents caused by very bad roads and even worse drivers. Every safe arrival to one's destination by road is in itself a miracle (not the christian kind), and something to be thankful for (no thanks to any deity), and it is usually due to a conscientious driver and a well maintained vehicle, two  factors that, when absent, contribute to the deaths on our roads.

Different Countries, Different God

Nigerian Christians literally have double standards when it comes to the way they worship their god in Nigeria, and in the developed countries of Europe and North America. Like I have mentioned before, going to church for the Nigerian christian is mandatory. Absence from Sunday service will generally attract an investigation from one's peers - either a phone call or a visit. The sabbath day is literally kept holy; no work or any other activity should supersede church attendance.

Fighting Religion With Religion

It was only yesterday that I posted about Nigeria's president acting as a cleric, and his 'exemplary' leadership format has been picked up by the Adamawa state governor who has approved the sum of 200 million Naira (about $1m) to be paid to prayer warriors who will be mandated to seek divine intervention for the Boko Haram menace. Adamawa state, along with Borno and Yobe states have been the hotbed of the terrorist group's carnage which led then president Goodluck Jonathan to declare a state of emergency in all three states last year in a bid to truncate their terrorism. It was, of course, unsuccessful. The prayer warriors are, not  surprisingly, of islamic extraction, Adamawa state being a majority muslim state.

Nigeria's Cleric President

Nigeria's President Muhammadu Buhari, last week, recommended the inclusion of two new islamic books, written by a former Chief Justice of Nigeria, into the curriculum of Federal Government Colleges throughout the country. He said that his action was necessitated by the declining moral and religious values in the country.

What I Believe

My atheism came as a nasty surprise to my family largely because in Nigeria, it is unheard of to admit that one does not believe in any god, especially the christian god. It is erroneously assumed by most of these people that an atheist is deeply involved in the occult hence the disbelief in any god(s). But this is obviously not the case since I do not believe in anything supernatural. There is no spirit world controlling events here on earth.

Thank Toyota, Not God

A friend of mine was involved in an accident, in early 2013, in which his car somersaulted several times, ended up upside down and was so badly burned only the metal parts remained. He came out completely unhurt. When he told me, I said a quiet "thank Toyota", which was the car model whose safety features had ensured he escaped unhurt and alive. He of course was full of praises to god almighty for the 'miracle' of what might have easily been a tragedy if the makers of the car had not installed all the safety features that saved his life.

Death Before Dishonour

This pathetic story was sent to me by a friend who insisted I penned something about it. A man who went to a beach in Dubai with his family for some fun, preferred to see his daughter die than be dishonoured by having rescuers, who were strangers, to touch her.

Still Going To Church

It is another Sunday in Nigeria, and although the churches would be mostly empty by this time (6pm Nigerian time), there are expected to be a sprinkling of worshippers in various churches either having some meeting to deliberate on church matters, or making those extra supplications to god for that most pressing need.

Living The Faith

I came across this post which reminded me of the hypocrisy of religious beliefs with regards to an afterlife. The post tells about a Pakistani mystic who bound a volunteer faithful, Isaac style, and slit his throat. The idea was to show the mystic's ability to raise the dead. Of course this, like the various claims of miracles made by Nigerian christian preachers and televangelists, was a lie. The mystic was arrested. Then the interesting part: the  dead man's sister insisted the mystic should not have been arrested while saying "why should I mourn when I know that my brother is in heaven? He will be rewarded for his services for the spiritual leader in the afterlife."

Science Is King

I deliberately avoided talking about the rigorous processes involved in the scientific process in my last post while talking about the reluctance of religious people to subject their beliefs to even minimal scrutiny. The well worn argument of the arrogance of most scientists, and also of science not having all the answers, especially by christians and muslims, is itself a testimony to the methods employed by science in its monumental achievements. Science landed man on the moon, went up close to a comet travelling at about 40km/s and sent a probe to Pluto, a journey so far, it took 9 years to complete.

Here To Stay

I received the sad news of Niloy Neel's death today. He had lived in fear of his life since three of his compatriots (Avijit Roy, Washiqur Rahman, and Ananta Bijoy Das) were killed for speaking out about their secular views, against extremism and for the rights of minorities. He makes it the fourth secular Bangladeshi blogger killed this year. No one has been convicted. I am honoured to be in this illustrious company, even though the worst I have suffered for my views on religion is being fired from a job and facing serious flak from my family. It is a small price to pay compared to the ultimate sacrifice that these brave men have made.

Religion Yes! Questions No!!

My atheism most probably began when I was eight. That was when I started catechism classes and the first question we were asked was "who made you?". The answer was of course "god made me". While the other children continued with the next question, I was lost in my thoughts. I was growing up to be quite the critic, and to me, nothing was above being criticized, which is why it baffles me to this day why Nigerians especially become visibly uncomfortable when the question of god's existence comes up.

Nigeria's Diabolical Human Traffickers

Nigerian social media and online news blogosphere was agog yesterday with the news of a wanted notorious human trafficker who specialized in taking young Nigerian women to Dubai and Qatar in order to earn a living as prostitutes. Like all those around the world involved in this appalling venture, she had to keep the girls in line to do her bidding. And that was the part that interested me.

To Us Be The Glory

I received a very heart warming piece of news today whose impact will soon reverberate across my entire family. While the news naturally made me very happy, it also got me thinking about a trend which really needs to be addressed - giving credit to god for our very own efforts and achievements. When Brazil won the 2002 FIFA world cup, the whole team formed a circle to pray and give thanks to the christian god for the victory. Ironically, it was Germany whom they had defeated in that match, that went ahead to inflict the heaviest ever defeat suffered by the Brazilian national football team, in the semi final of the 2014 world cup. Did god forsake Brazil?

God As A Five Year Old

As a kid, I experienced intense feelings of jealousy whenever any of my brothers got an extra helping of a piece of fish or some other delicacy, or received special attention from one of my parents, or for a myriad other reasons. Even as adults, we all still feel some degree of envy when a friend, colleague or relative has some good news to share, especially if it was one about something we desired or wanted for ourselves. This is a very human trait, and one which is most pronounced in young children who, unlike most well adjusted adults, are unable to hide, or avoid expressing their feelings.

Fear Factor

Religion most probably began in part due to the fear mankind had for the happenings that could not be explained or understood. Death was one of these, and is feared up until today. Documented evidence suggest that those who worshipped the sun did so because of the fear that not doing so would anger the sun, which would cease to bestow its benefits on the earth. We know this to be untrue today. We do not have to worship the sun for it to 'rise' and 'set', phenomena we now know are dependent on the earth's rotation around its  own axis. The simple ignorance of the facts of the relationships between the celestial bodies, and the effects these relationships have on our weather, daylight and darkness, and even our oceans and seas, necessitated action, and the best they could come up with was to worship the sun. They even killed their own, periodically, as a way of showing their loyalty to the sun. It was the same with thunder, which was described by the African bushmen as the rumbling of the stomachs of the gods from eating too much, or lightning which the ancient Greeks believed was an expression of Zeus's wrath. Children who have been in formal education for less than 8 or 9 years today, know the reasons for all these perfectly natural occurrences.

Sunday Sunday Medicine

On Sundays, Nigerian christians mandatorily attend one church service or the other. I know for a fact that there are those who no longer want to continue with this charade. I encourage you to be strong and to follow your gut instincts. You are no longer alone in this journey, and I will help you to actually stop attending church. There are a few basic rules to follow and I shall talk about the most important ones.

Soja Go, Soja Come, Barracks Stay

The above statement, a popular Nigerian saying, is about the same as saying that tough times do not last, but that tough people do, since tough times, like the soldier, come and go, but a tough person, like the barracks, is a permanent feature.

The Bible Falls Apart

Atheism is not a religion. It is simply a rejection of the belief in any and all deities. If we are to start from the 'creation' according to the bible, then we will be made to believe that mankind came into existence a mere 6000, or so, years ago. This does not hold true for many reasons, and for me, the one that I think is the most glaring evidence that we have been here for much longer is the fact that we could not have grown to a population of over 7 billion in just 6000 years. Even if every human being born  since Adam and Eve started having children was still alive today, and you can do the math for yourself, we still would not total over 7 billion.

Prophet Fela

"Pastor’s house na him dey fine pass, my people dem dey stay for poor surroundings; pastor’s dress na him dey clean pass, e hard for my people to buy soap. Pastor na him dem give respect pass…" - Coffin for Head of State by Fela Anikulapo Kuti (1981).

Spacecrafts And Witchcraft

Picture Jesus ascending into heaven; he walks away from his disciples, slowly levitates into the air until he exits earth and into space. And then...; well, there could be a few scenarios here. He may have boarded a spacecraft that could have been waiting to take him straight to heaven. He could have continued floating through space until he got to heaven, meaning he could still be on his way, depending on how far heaven is. Little wonder then that he is yet to come back! If he got to heaven this way, he may still be resting and it would be a while before he thinks about his second coming. So fear ye not sinners, the second coming is still a long while away!

A childhood friend of mine told me a story  about his aunt who lives in the UK. She was a deaconess at the Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, and a devout member of the church who prayed at every opportunity. It was her 'prayerfulness' that was responsible for his reluctance to visit her, despite her regular entreaties. He finally succumbed and went to see her, more because he wanted to eat Nigerian food, than actually for her company. As each prayer opportunity, during the visit, came and went, my friend became increasingly apprehensive about his aunty's religious loyalties. His curiosity got the better of him as she was walking him to the bus stop at the end of his visit, and he asked her why she had not said a single word of prayer all the while he was at her home, which was totally out of character. She looked at him and asked him, "why should I pray?" She lived in a decent area, and she highlighted the fact that utilities and emergency services were reliable, there was world class healthcare which she enjoyed as she was diabetic, and a host of other existential differences between Nigeria and the UK. My friend, to say the least, was stunned beyond belief but he managed to conceal it.

Despicable Them

During the ebola virus scare in Nigeria last year, I read this post about Nigeria's very own TB Joshua, of the collapsed building fame. He was called a conman, which is exactly what he is. I really cannot describe what I feel whenever I see hundreds of thousands of desperate (and quite frankly, stupid) people from all over Nigeria, Africa, and elsewhere around the world literally falling over themselves to see this semi-illiterate charlatan, and snake oil salesman.

Today is Sunday, and in Nigeria, it means church for tens of millions of people. Attendance is essentially non-negotiable, from those who go compulsorily, to those who are forced or coerced, or who do it to avoid being labelled as an agent of the devil. One who does not go to church is invariably seen as  diabolic, and there are usually dire consequences.

Your Money And Your Life

I could not help but share this post since I talked a lot about the Catholic church in my last post. The interference, and intrusion, of religion into our lives is not only no longer acceptable, it has become abusive - physically and emotionally. Religion is a form of control. It is like the government, the only difference being that, like a dictatorship, we have no say in how we are governed; it is not a democracy. Our lives are left to the whims of the head of the regime.

Random Musings

Oscar Wilde once said that "there is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book, books are either well written or badly written." Muslim women have called Islam "a beautiful religion" despite its position on women as full blown second class citizens. Only a woman blinded by the dogma of religion, or who has never read the koran cover to cover, will defend Islam as a beautiful religion.

Why The Delay In Prosecuting TB Joshua?

On September 12 2014, a five-storey building which was to serve as a guesthouse for the numerous  miracle-seeking foreign visitors to the Synagogue Church of All Nations (SCOAN) collapsed and killed 118 persons (some reports quoted 115). The guesthouse was in the latter stages of construction, but it was already accommodating guests. Two days later, this video surfaced claiming that the collapse was caused by a "mysterious aircraft" which flew past the building three times at different intervals before it collapsed.

I begin

Nigerians are one people you would find in virtually every country of the world. You would also find them excelling in nearly every human endeavour. In a gathering of Nigerians at home and abroad, one would not be surprised to hear that the topic of discussion is the litany of woes bedevilling this country with obvious world superpower potentials. Our government has simply failed us, and the late Chinua Achebe put it succinctly when he said that "the trouble with Nigeria is simply and squarely a failure of leadership." This failure has pushed Nigerians elsewhere - into the grubby hands of those who make a living selling the supernatural.